i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She needs to learn what's it like to have sex with someone and regret it the next day.
and unfortunately for you, hallmark doesnt make a "sorry i was getting a blowie in the backseat of your car while you were driving, projectiled my jizz onto your hand, and caused you to crash" card
He was in a gay KY jelly commercial. Jew male model. Reasons not to sleep with him. Go.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
they need to invent a card that reads "thanks for all those boners you gave me that you did NOTHING about"
She has a tattoo on her inner thigh that's an x with a long dotted line. So after she passed out I signed it. Dunno what else I was supposed to do...
That cat I follow on Facebook beat cancer so we're drinking tonight in celebration
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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