Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
i've got to stop sleeping with short guys. they always turn into stage 5 clingers
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
they won't let me drive with my sombrero
blah blah blah they called me an alcoholic because I threw my beer at a Jesus freak. it was for the best
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
Rule number 1 of dorm living: do not forget your butt plug in the bathroom.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
Randomize
