If I could text you the sound of me vomming, I would.
Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
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