sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
You'll put your fingers inside me but you won't be my FB friend?
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
She just tried to snort granola up her nose but its ok she's not bleeding.
Why is there a chicken nugget nailed to my front door?
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
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