hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
is it a bad sign that i now think of my run-ins with cops as "skill building seminars"?
um, yeah. i think it is.
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
I don't think my prof knows we've noticed her No Bra Fridays.
My weekend will be all about the double d's, desert & debauchery
What kind of outfit says I totes want you to take me in the airplane bathroom?
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
I am watching xfiles and eating microwaved cookiedough, and I see nothing wrong with it.
He talked me out going to the bar. No one ever talks me out going to the bar..this is fucking love.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
That guy u hooked me up with kept calling me james while were doing it...
I was pretty sure he wouldn't be into me after I fucked his brother, and then his best friend, and yet, here I am doing lines off his stomach
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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