So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
Like wrapping my dick in silk, wrapping that in velvet, and putting it in a cloud. A warm, tight, wet cloud.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
I came to the party for him. I don't know where he went, but I mentioned being hungry and his housemate brought me a huge tupperware container of berry cobbler. I think I'll stay.
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
When you went off to sleep with that guy that looked like a dirty Jesus and I asked why all you had to say "trying to keep Christ in Christmas" and left. The Vatican called, you're going to Hell.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
What could go wrong? i could have a mental breakdown with a bottle of champagne hand cuffed to a frat bro
All this studying of HIV makes me want to have sex with you.
It's dangerous to be this horny at work. I'm gonna stain my desk chair
Randomize
