i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
It's cold our but I feel like a very blazed penguin
I know I said that I'd stop dating 20 year olds... but at least this one's not my student...
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
He filled four shots of Everclear and walked around saying "FREE VODKA SHOTS". he is to blame.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You keep making the old jokes & I'm gonna come down with a sudden case of low-estrogen related vaginal dryness..
i also remember watching someone vomit off a balcony which was kind of grim
There's a potato with a bite taken out of it in the kitchen
He was doing dishes, naked. I dropped to my knees and gave him head. Teamwork level- pro..
I had to cum in my sink.
Randomize
