Do you know of any times in scooby doo when the monster turned out to be a real monster? You know not just a person?
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
it's kind of slutty but what the hell, so are we
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
The woman in the flower onesie is claiming she hasn't been drinking.
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
i walked into her house and she introduced me to her family. i dont think she understands the term booty call
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
