I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
My cat puked at the same time as me. Makes me feel better about myself, except he can stand and I can't.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
Just saw my father's penis. Don't know what to say.
Your lack of great college experience of margaritas and foam parties scares me
and lets be real... who can blow a middle school class's sunday school teacher and keep a straight face ever again? NOBODY.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
I just got head while watching air force one. Harrison ford would be proud.
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Guy running next to me at the gym is judging me. I think he can smell the whiskey leaking out of my pores.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
I can handle him. I'm made of spite and hot wings.
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