You dirty dirty liar I like the way you twitter
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I swear god or herbie drove my car home
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
it was such a weird mix, KFC and penis
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
I keep telling myself that if Britney can make it through 2007, I can make it through this date.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
Dude. Once again. Cleaning house. Found weed I hid from myself a month ago. Celebrating/testing it out. if i dont text back in 10, call dominos.
We can get drunk and battle coyotes
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
Randomize
