We've finally become those guys who you'd see in middle school when you went to the park who are just stoned out of their minds sitting on the swings.
i just had to google what happens if your dog eats your nuva ring
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Its completely acceptable to go naked under my graduation gown right?
Some ppl might frown upon it but theyre prudes
I love that my idea of a romantic gesture to you is to send you a picture of my vomit saying "wish you were here". You voluntarily dated me. For six years ish.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I almost wanna stick a tampon in and sneeze bent over to see if it actually shoots out
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
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