New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
We basically counted to 3 and then dumped each other.
I can't believe all I ate yesterday was half a turkey sandwich and 20 finger licks of exctasy.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
I just want to let you know that when you try and lie about the "solid 10" you brought home last night, I've got a picture of her and about 10 reasons you should have left her at the bar starting with those martin scorsese eyebrows.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
ya figured it'd be nice to explore the mythical world of sober sex i've heard so much about
i've often wondered how it works
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
