Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
yeah but it's new years. they should arrest people for being sober that day.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
Missed another period
I almost hope you're pregnant, this is unfair.
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
I'm confused about why you felt the need to ask me to buy you life alert for christmas at 3:28 this morning.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
You should just skip the small talk from now on and instead say something like "You need to come slay the dragon, be here in 15?"
Randomize
