id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Packed at 6 am completely wasted. Damage assessment: 12 pairs of socks (no underwear), a flashlight, 3 shorts, shot glass, 8 sweaters, puff paint, one sneaker.
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
I used to not like fucking fat girls but with her gut clapping against her boobs, its like a standing ovation ever time.
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
