Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I discovered last night there is no graceful way to remove your face from your gf's crotch when your parents walk in the room
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
Sober January is a disaster.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
We thought we had lost her until we found her in the bushes a block away singing "Jingle Bells".
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Tried to put an eye patch on while hooking up with a girl. She was not amused.
Lets just put it this way. Im meeting his nana after a mind blowing orgasm.
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
I came twice AND he sent me home with edibles. I think he’s a keeper.
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