physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
last time I sleep in the lobby. woke up to some girl asking me what floor I lived on. somebody put me, couch included, on the elevator.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Today my mom told me "that's what worries me about you getting blacked out drunk... You don't look pretty"
You may have cured my horniness. I feel like my libido just got shat on by kittens who live on an enchanted rainbow.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I dunno what the deal was, but you spent about an hour trying to put your phone charger in the outlet and you were yelling "one plug to rule them all"
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
I just bought spray paint, a T-shirt, and a box of magnum condoms. The cashier refused to make eye contact! Haha
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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