wakey wakey hands off snakey
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
I don't know if it has occurred to you yet, but you are dating a nymphomaniac, and your work schedule is an interference of my needs being fulfilled. Get home now.
we can be functional adults and still think pizza lunchables are the shit
don't mind me. just hanging out in this cool air conditioned Babies R Us until the liquor store next door opens.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
We were in the middle of a serious discussion about social justice and he pulled sequins out of his teeth and kept talking like nothing had happened.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
party devolved into two exes battling with Cal's tiki torches, and the lawn being set on fire kinda sorta and then we all hula'ed... hulaed?
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
See I am maturing. I just got in from my DRIVE of shame......
FYI bail money is still in my drawer. I know you have no car but you need to know this for tomorrow.
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