You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
How do you feel about the band name "O'labia Newton John"??
He had an itunes playlist named "def not Glee season 1" which contained all of Glee season 1
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
24 hours later and my vagina is still tingling. That good.
I gave him head and we watched Fashion Police. somehow it wasn't awkard.
Apparently I texted my high school english teacher asking her to tell me what logical fallacies she taught us three years ago.
Walking out of our apartment this morning to go to class, I saw a sticky note on the front door that said "get tested." The door was unlocked so did you bring some stranger back last night? I'm assuming you weren't referring to me...
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
My vagina has a mind if its own. Can you imagine if I didnt have you to run her ideas through.
How high?! We watched paid programming for 45 minutes before we realized it wasn't just a long commercial. So pretty high. The Bionic fish finder looks promising, though.
Lets get a boat first.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
You some how ended up sleeping on one of the beams that run along the ceiling of your house
Randomize
