doesn't he have a GF?
that just means you have to try harder.
i didn't have to try TOO hard, just told him i didn't want to know his name or...
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
That chick needs a catscan. And fuck it, we're still ordering in a stripper
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Teach me the ways of your demonic sorcery.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
