He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Why are my keys in the refrigerator?
You said "This is gonna really confuse me tomorrow." Apparently drunk you plays pranks on hungover you.
This explains so much.
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
anyone who texts me today gets a complimentary picture of my mangled foot. starting with you.
ewwwww wtf when you left last night you were fine?
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
My inner pteradactyl is also confused.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
Randomize
