If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
Dear God, please let me get my period. And if this one is fiercer than usual I completely understand.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
I'm basically doing the Walk of Shame without the added bonus of having sex last night. That doesn't look good on anyone.
Randomize
