i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Don't put random dicks in your mouth or any other crevice for that matter... and i'm home in 30 seconds
Wish I got that text last night instead of this morning.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I hope the dean has a raincoat on because I'm prolly gonna throw up on him when I get my degree
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
Okay. I am working on pulling a tooth out of my mouth. Call me.
If you think for one second that I would forget Mardi Gras, you clearly don't know how much I love boobs.
Nothing says summer like lemonaid, but nothing says fuck yeah summer like lemonaid and vodkavodka
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
Reminder to self: never have sex on a trampoline. Trampoline burn hurts worse than carpet burn.
Randomize
