Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
It got to the point that I had to make flashcards with their name on the front and dick pics on the back.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
With your fertility you would just get contact pregnant
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I don't get promposals. When I asked my date I was so drunk I couldn't lift my head. Then I puked on my lawn after he said "ok whatever". That's romance
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
After we finish having sex, he smokes an honest to God pipe. It's like fucking a big, sexy Sherlock Holmes...
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
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