there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
The investigator asked if we were sharing a pitcher of margaritas. I corrected him and explained that we each had our own.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Girl behind me in line at cvs was getting impatient then outta nowhere blew up shouting that if she didn't get her plan b soon she might be a mom abd that if we couldn't tell she'd be a terrible mom
your ability to divide cases of beer among any given group of people equally was missed.
I mean your new thing is losing body parts and feeling colors so its not like we are hurting for entertainment
Made it just outside my dorm and yack on the front dirt. Wave to a dad thats staring, continue on my way.
There is nothing wrong with watching parks and rec all day then getting blackout drunk by night
NO HE PUT HIS HAND IN HIS PANTS BEFORE HE TOUCHED THE BONG.
ILLEGAL
I woke up on the floor with 2 cartons of cigarettes, a box of chocolate bars, and a business card for a man named Larry. Don't remember him, but if the Rols on his card is his, I might throw him a mouth party...
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
Randomize
