I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
I'm drinking keystone with a homeless man I found. It's making me feel uncomfortable.
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Shit stained towel. The very symbol of how much closer we are as friends. Fall 011... beautiful disaster
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
If it's up to me, I'll already have my pants on and walking out before he gets soft afterward.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
I think I got into an argument with my cat's former owner about what a BDSM relationship entails.
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
