She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
He just did a 33 second keg stand with a fractured leg, busted chin and chipped teeth from running into a parked car after winning a race.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
hungover subway ride filled with german tourists and a mariachi band. too early. too fuckin early
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
My wife climbed on top of me, fucked my brains out, and gave me money from the ATM. I'm living the dream.
Leaving Denver airport I just saw a group of young Republicans in matching green T-shirts that said "4/20 Baby!"
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
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