How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
New dating criteria: what kind of ex will this person be?
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
This morning on my way to work I saw a guy ride his bike straight into a woman and her dog while trying to light a bowl. Thought of you.
Not many people can say they've been photo bombed by an antelope. I sure did.
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I would've fucked Winston Churchill - rode that D like I was going into battle.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
She kept telling me that it pissed her off that i expect people to make out with me...then she made out with me. Win?
Randomize
