I've had that scene from "Parenthood" where Rick Moranis' character is singing "Close To You" to his wife in classroom, stuck in my head all morning.
I guess my mind is just wondering whatever happened to Rick Mornais.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She's pissed. She declared she was moving out and proceeded to pack 3 pairs of shoes, her electric wine opener and ONE sock. Then told us to have fun paying her portion of the rent.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I saw he had me in his phone as "the fat twin"
somehow, even strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA can't understand why he'd choose her over me
maybe it's because you talk to strange, drunk, middle-aged men on the RTA
Unless you have figured out how to blow me through the phone don't drunk dial me.
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
I'm drunk in a field. the chupacobra is going to eat me. if I die serve vodka at my funeral.
I overcharge people for their weed so you can have yours for free, because I care
Who knew I could feel anymore shameful at the bar than i usually do...I think my bartender recognizes me from the walk of shame out of his house after i hooked up with his son yesterday
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
Beard. Chest hair. Job.
The holy trinity.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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