I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
Im about to smoke a huge bowl. My penis is so happy. Who needs girls.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Like I could say no to two hot people already naked and fucking. Please. I'm not made of stone.
Twice?!
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
If he didn’t pick us up we would have been jerkwards eating sad pancakes at a Denny’s.
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