Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
Christ, I really took the slutcake last night.
Wait. Someome brought slutcake?
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Dude, I puked in the stall for God knows how long. Halfway through, a kid sits down in the stall next to me and starts jacking off, i heard the porn on his phone and everything. so FYI, the middle stall is where good nights go to die
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
The night got interesting when the random guy next to us handed us a bottle of champagne and the rest of his ciroc bottle. When we asked why he did it, he proceeded to point at his friend who face planted the floor.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
Randomize
