We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Its a sick, sad, world when parents get more ass then you.
If you could watch a water balloon run... That's what it's like watching her run.
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
You have amazing self restraint. If there was one thing I could learn from you, that wouldn't be it. I love my life as it is.
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
