i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I don't really want to talk about it, but if anyone finds my unicorn mask with my bra in it, I would really like that back.
Now I'm having a post-sex brownie. Is this the life? I think it might be
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
on the bright side i found your panties and the lid to the nutella
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I went with vodka instead of tequila tonight so I make better decisions. Fool proof plan.
Randomize
