after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
I fucked her while she was wearing her boyfriends dogtags. I'm officially a bad american
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Blackout me just wants to pee on sober me's dreams. Literally.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My drug dealer bought me a book for Christmas. What a gentleman.
Yay I only have ONE giant mystery bruise from yesterday
Ok. After that I think I'm going to drag queen jello wrestling if you would care to join.
If I have put a neon “vacancy” sign on my skirt for him to get the picture I will.
Randomize
