"it" just moved
i was rollin on her like bob the builder
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We're gona eat taco bell and then take exlax and see who can hold it in the longest. Loser has to pay for drinks all weekend. You in?
We lost a condom inside me, I had to fish it out. The next day he gave me a Gone Fishin' bumper sticker. True love at its finest.
You carried me up the stairs after I told you not to. And what did you tell me? "Let me test my strengths."
Is that a polar bear? You seriously grinded with a polar bear at the club?
It looks like I murdered a care bear and put its blood in my hair to warn the others off.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
Lesson learned. No more vodka and toaster strudel
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
Randomize
