handjob tips. give me some.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
guess who has a date tonight
look at you growing up, going on dates before she hops into bed
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
I just remember thinking, if she falls asleep, I'm totally eating that spilled chex mix right off of her.
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
Wise words from the guy who drunkenly chipped his teeth on the sidewalk
Crosswalk actually
then she kicked a hole in her own door and the next thing you know, brian's walking up to her room with power tools. in no condition to use them
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Confession: Sometimes I wear my stolen scrubs to the corner store because people will think I'm a doctor and not just a girl too lazy to change out of her pajamas.
I'll be there in a few.
I'M COUNTING TO FEW.
He passed out before we could have sex. I had no choice but to use his boner to hold my onion rings.
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