Where is the hickey?
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
hey everyone... booty call? my house tonight. bring friends to fuck my friends.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
Are we hungover?
I got a lapdance from a gay guy in red uggs and spandex shorts with reindeer antlers on. And I don't remember it. Hungover does not even cover it.
Can she stop putting up all these passive aggressive statuses and please come out of the "I-want-to-be-a-pornstar" closet already?
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
Why did you send me 12 pictures in a row of your expressionless face at 2:30 am?
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
Head-banging is a very stupid way to injur yourself. But this opinion is also coming from somebody who can't walk right because they cut their asshole shaving last night, so it probably has little to no merit.
What's rude is him not accepting my blowjob offer. What kind of guy denies that.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
