I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
It feels like he gave my taint an indian burn.
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Randomize
