so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
A friday without alcohol is hardly a friday at all
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
they got in a fight during sex...she came out yelling and covered in chocolate
New discovery: conditioner is better for jerking off than baby oil. Fuck yes.
this is no time to have dignity 4/20 is coming
nothing like morning wood sex at 4pm. funemployment ftw
I had my first sober conversation with his roommate. I remembered half way through that the first time we met I was getting fucked on his counter
I'm at breakfast at my kid's school and I have noted at least 3 other parents with last night's red wine mouth and bleary eyes. I don't know why I always get so paranoid.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
He drew a bath for me. It was only cute until he started throwing in celery and calling me soup.
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
