For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
too bad you live with your parents still
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
he told me that if i wanted to smoke he could make a piece out of my shoe. were keeking this kid around
Got to see someone fall down the stairs while holding hot coffee and a folder full of papers. Best Monday ever.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
I'm hiding in a cabinet. I'm going to stay here.
You just stood up, raised your glass and said, "I'd like to thank the academy" then fell through a glass table. THAT'S why we cut you off.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
We need to get stoned and watch Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles 2. This has become a priority. Schedule accordingly.
I'm gonna have to shit in a bar again tonight
My hook-up from last week somehow found me at the club, saw the girl I was trying to fuck, kissed me right in front of her, and walked off.
What are u up to today?
Marathon sex and eating.
Randomize
