Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
Dude I could put my dick between the gap in her teeth.. This is the last time we are hanging out with Kentucky girls
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
some guy just burried his vomit in the sand.
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
He's laying next to me passed out dressed as a hooters girl
I bet he's a super pretty hooters girl
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I can assure you I didn't go home with a girl, because I woke up on someone's porch
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
I went to a party last night....I stole all of their ornaments and the toaster oven.
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
Haha holy fuck. i dont remember much after pissing on your ex's flaming nude pics.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
