Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
Just saw a homeless guy with a sign that said "Family abducted by aliens. Need money for ransom" and on the back of the sign it said "And it's only $.88"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
Just saw a denim jacket with the phrase christian cowboy...ridin with the lord under a picture of a cowboy in a sunset. I'm def in mississippi.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I was going through my mom's stuff to find her xanax, and I found her vibrators instead. Plural. That is like the opposite of what I wanted.
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
You said "this is only my eighth drink" with like 6 separate drinks
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
There needs to be a greeting card for "I miss having sex and smoking weed with you."
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
Hitting up all my dealers for my birthday grams is paying off
Randomize
