apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
question - sack: should she or should she not play with it during foreplay?
he wanted to have sex on the little rocking chair but i was too high to figure out how to do that so we did it on the floor.
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
I chugged vodka from a 15 ft snorkel. What the fuck did you do with your life today?
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
Was the first guy that bit your neck last night wearing a trenchcoat...I have a vague memory.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Everyone is a disappointment when you lose your virginity to nine inches
We're not ready for visitors right now.
wtf? who's we?
The Royal We: Me, My Vag, and I.
Blacking out in the security line at the airport is not nearly as fun as blacking out in the lunch line at the dining hall.
Randomize
