OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
why is every porn film shot in the same house? with the same red couch!?!
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
Just watched 1 guy 1 jar with my mom. Awkwardville...
so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Totally just projectile vomited while ridind a bicycle.
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
Also I had a dream we made my birth control into a joint. What does that mean?
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
How do you forget making out with a coworker in the dressing room at Sears on more than one occasion?
...object impermanence?
11% beer and firearms, what could possibly go wrong?
Randomize
