how about we just leave your boyfriend out of this
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
They sat me on college avenue with a puke bucket and people were mistakenly throwing change in it. Got me enough money take a cab back to my apartment.
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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