the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Can we have fireworks this year or will the ocean explode?
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Well just saw that professor I hooked up with on campus and I look like a dumpster baby
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
condom fairy costume came in handy...we were making out in my living room and he wanted it so i took a condom off the costume and we did it right there...with my tutu still on....
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