I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
she was drooling, sharted in her sleep, rolled over stuck her hand under the covers pulled it back out, smelled it and moaned and rolled back over. i almost added puke to the disgusting bodily fluid category.
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
I just smoked a bowl alone and took my Zyrtec here's to a full night.
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
He just said Bill Nye is just a dude. If I ever considered sleeping with him, I never will now.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
He was all “please don’t bail because I’m missing work for this” last night
Honey no, I need dick. I’m not going to bail
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