Well douche your snatch and let's go!
Her eyes are really red like she jus got out of the hospital and shes coughing ...80 ppl at her school do have swine flu dude
So your saying just a blow job?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
Me and the cabbie are stopping on the way at a sit down restaurant to eat. My life is so sad.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I just want to have sex and eat dumplings. Is that so much to ask?
well whats the tarot card for I'm totes going to be schlobbing his cob? because that's in his future.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
