just saw ex-bf. should he be more embarrassed to be a college dropout working at rite aid or should i be because i was buying newports and rembrant?
tie
video games are the ultimate cock blocker
we were so high we made up an elaborate backstory because we were paranoid about going into the wig shop w/o being serious wig shoppers
Well he paid for dinner, so I paid for the Plan B, but the parking ticket I got is totally his responsibility.
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
It's one of those days where you order the free Papa John's pizza so the delivery guy can bring you Coke to go with your rum. The tip was more than the order.
Her brother is definitely not gay. I hooked up with him when she was sleeping.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
You can't give me tequila around boys who have girlfriends. That ain't new.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Randomize
