I'm home alone watching The Hills seasons, eating pickles and drinking straight rye. I just googled "how to make friends". Probably not the most pro-active solution. Help.
its awkward enough using a urinal next to your dad but its worse finding out hes one of the guys who goes no hands and moans it out
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
The guatemalans kept making all these sexual suggestions ... With the corn
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
Well I could just do a roadtrip and hit them all. Slut tour 2012.
It's 6 am, I'm drunk, and celebrating the end of finals.Go ahead and ask me where I am...if you guessed a McDonald's playpen then you are correct. Badabababa I'm loving it
I promised him we could have sex if he would let me take him to the hospital to get stitches.
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
My new years resolution is going to be to stop drunk snapchatting old hook ups asking them when we're going to bang again
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