ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i told you he always needs adult supervision he just tazered himself
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
He also has scotch. LOTS AND LOTS of scotch. I think you'd like him!
That is always a wonderful personality trait!
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
she chased shots of jack with a fucking steak. i'm in love.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
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