So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
He puked, did more shots, and then pissed in a drawer. We thought it was bad enough and all of a sudden...boom-clothes come off and he passes out with slippers and a styrofoam hat on and a guitar hero guitar in hand pretending he was slash.
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
Nothing motivates a person to clean their apartment like puking up cheese ravioli beer-tequila chicken wings for eight hours.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
Drunk me spoon fed everyone baby food last night.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
Do you want to talk about dinosaurs?
I'll tell you all about it in person but let's just say the big dick fairy must really like me right now
Still drunk, heading to class.
It's 3 a.m. Dude
Doesn't mean I'm not at my desk. Ill wait.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Apparently when you start crushing adderall and blending them into your margaritas calling them blenderalls you have "a problem" WTF
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