you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
HAH. HARRY POTTER CASUAL CONVO HAS BEEN EXTENDED TO DISCUSSING WEATHER. SO PRO
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
In hindsight, trust falling your grandma was a bad idea. Sorry about that.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
I misunderstood what a furry was. Come pick me up.
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
Ugh a 13 year old just asked me why people drink, I had to explain it without making it sound good. I need a drink.
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I'm pretty sure I just orgasmned my way out of paying for that weed
The tit pic search didn't go as planned, some old guy sent me a pic of his balls and said stop texting his daughter. Better luck tomorrow
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Dude, I'm pretty sure I just drank iced tea last night and yet I'm still hungover. What the fuck is my body anymore ?
Randomize
